How Personality Disorders Drive family Court Litigation

Narcissistic Personality Disorder Mother In Law - How Personality Disorders Drive family Court Litigation

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I was first exposed to the notion of personality disorders in 1980 when I was in training as a therapist at the San Diego Child guidance Clinic at Childrens' Hospital. The Dsm-Iii had just come out and Axis Ii of the five diagnostic categories required the therapist to diagnose the presence or absence of a personality disorder. (The current Dsm-Iv uses the same approach.) I quickly learned (often the hard way) that the presenting problems on Axis I (e.g. Depression, substance abuse) were plainly replaced by new ones, if an basal personality disorder was not addressed in therapy.

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder Mother In Law

Now that I have completed some years as a house law attorney, I have frequently witnessed the same basal issues in hotly contested house court litigation -- yet these remain undiagnosed and, therefore, misunderstood. As those with personality disorders ordinarily view relationships from a rigid and adversarial perspective, it is confident that a large amount end up in the adversarial process of court. Since more flexible and cost-conscious habitancy nowadays are resolving their divorces in mediation, attorney-assisted negotiation, or just by themselves, those cases remaining in litigation may be increasingly driven by personality disorders.

The Nature of a Personality Disorder
Someone with a personality disorder is commonly a man experiencing persisting inner distress (for example fear of abandonment), which causes self-sabotaging behavior (such as seeking others who fear abandonment), which causes needful problems (such as rage at any perceived hint of abandonment) -- in their work lives and/or their personal lives. They may function quite well in one setting, but sense chaos and repeated problems in others. They look no distinct from anyone else, and often gift as very bright and bright people. However, it is commonly after you spend some time together -- or eye them in a urgency -- that the basal distress reaches the surface.

As interpersonal distress, fear of abandonment, and an inordinate need for control are celebrated symptoms of personality disorders, they place a stupendous burden on a marriage. Therefore, intense conflicts will eventually arise in their marriages and the disunion process will also be a very conflictual process. In disagreement to habitancy who are plainly distressed from going through a disunion (over 80% are recovering significantly after 2 years), habitancy with personality disorders grew up very distressed. It is the long period of their dysfunction (since adolescence or early adulthood) which meets the criteria of a personality disorder.

Usually they advanced their personality style as a way of coping with childhood abuse, neglect or abandonment, an emotionally lacking household, or plainly their biological predisposition. While this personality style may have been an effective adaptation in their "family of origin," in adulthood it is counter-productive. The man remains stuck repeating a narrow range of interpersonal behaviors to attempt to avoid this distress.

A personality disorder does not commonly go away except in a corrective on-going connection -- such as some years in a counseling relationship. Until then, the man may permanently seek a corrective sense through a series of unsatisfying relationships, through their children, or through the court process. In a sense, untreated personality disorders don't fade away -- they just turn venue.

Personality Disorders Appearing in house Court
Probably the most prevalent personality disorder in house court is Borderline Personality Disorder (Bpd) -- more ordinarily seen in women. Bpd may be characterized by wide mood swings, intense anger even at benign events, idealization (such as of their spouse -- or attorney) followed by devaluation (such as of their spouse -- or attorney).

Also coarse is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Npd) -- more often seen in men. There is a great preoccupation with the self to the exclusion of others. This may be the vulnerable type, which can appear similar to Bpd, causing distorted perceptions of victimization followed by intense anger (such as in domestic violence or murder, for example the San Diego case of Betty Broderick). Or this can be the invulnerable type, who is detached, believes he is very excellent and feels automatically entitled to extra treatment.

Histrionic Personality Disorder also appears in house court, and may have similarities to Bpd but with less anger and more chaos. Antisocial Personality Disorder includes an ultimate disregard for the rules of community and very minute empathy. (A large part of the prison habitancy may have Anti-social Personality Disorder.)

Dependent Personality Disorder is common, but commonly is preoccupied with helplessness and passivity, and is rarely the aggressor in court -- but often marries a more aggressive spouse, sometimes with a personality disorder.

Cognitive Distortions and False Statement
Because of their history of distress, those with personality disorders perceive the world as a much more threatening place than most habitancy do. Therefore, their perceptions of other people's behavior is often distorted -- and in some cases delusional. Their world view is ordinarily adversarial, so they often see all habitancy as whether allies or enemies in it. Their mental is often dominated by cognitive distortions, such as: all-or-nothing thinking, emotional reasoning, personalization of benign events, minimization of the confident and maximization of the negative. They may form very inaccurate beliefs about the other person, but cling rigidly to those beliefs when they are challenged -- because being challenged is commonly perceived as a threat.

People with personality disorders also appear more likely to make false statements. Because of the notion process of a personality disorder, the man experiences interpersonal rejection or confrontation much more deeply than most people. Therefore the man has great difficulty medical and may remain stuck in the denial stage, the depression stage, or the anger stage of grief -- avoiding acceptance by trying to turn or control the other person.

Lying may be justified in their eyes -- maybe to bring a reconciliation. (This can be quite convoluted, like the former wife who alleged child sexual abuse so that her ex-husband's new wife would disunion him and he would return to her -- or so she seemed to believe.) Or lying may be justified as a punishment in their eyes. Just as we have seen that an angry spouse may kill the other spouse, it is not surprising that many angry spouses lie under oath. There is rarely any consequence for this, as house court judges often believe the truth cannot be known -- or that both are lying.

Projection

Just as an active alcoholic or addict blames others for their substance abuse, those with personality disorders are often preoccupied with other people's behavior while avoiding any test of their own behavior. Just as a movie projector throws a large image on a screen from a inexpressive booth, those with personality disorders task their internal conflicts onto their daily interactions -- commonly without knowing it. All the world is a stage -- including court.

It is not uncommon in house court declarations for one with a personality disorder to claim the other party has characteristics which are certainly their own ("he's manipulative and falsely charming" or "she's hiding data and delaying the process"), and do not fit the other party. Spousal abusers claim the other is being abusive. Liars claim the other is lying. (One man who knew he was diagnosed with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder claimed his wife also had an Npd plainly because she liked to shop.)

How house Court Fits Personality Disorders
Family Court is perfectly mighty to the fantasies of man with a personality disorder: There is an all-powerful man (the judge) who will punish or control the other spouse. The focus of the court process is perceived as fixing blame -- and many with personality disorders are experts at blame. There is a expert ally who will champion their cause (their attorney -- or if no attorney, the judge).

A case is properly ready by convention statements from allies -- family, friends, and professionals. (Seeking to gain the allegiance of the children is self-operating -- they too are seen as whether allies or enemies. A uncomplicated admonition will not stop this.) Generally, those with personality disorders are extremely skilled at -- and invested in -- the adversarial process.

Those with personality disorders often have an intensity that convinces fresh professionals -- counselors and attorneys -- that what they say is true. Their charm, desperation, and drive can reach a high level in this very emotional, bonding process with the professional. Yet this intensity is a characteristic of a personality disorder, and is thoroughly independent from the accuracy of their claims.

What Can Be Done
Judges, attorneys, and house court counselors need to be trained in identifying personality disorders and how to treat them. Mostly, a corrective on-going connection is needed -- preferably with a counselor. However, they commonly must be ordered into this because their reliance systems comprise a life-time of denial and avoidance of self-reflection.

Family Code Section 3190 (California) allows the court to order up to one year of counseling for parents, if: "(1) The dispute in the middle of the parents or in the middle of a parent and the child poses a stupendous danger to the best interest of the child. [or] (2)The counseling is in the best interest of the child." Even short-term counseling can help.

Therapists, in expanding to being supportive, need to help clients challenge their own thinking: about their own role in the dispute; about the accuracy of their view of the other party; and about their high expectations of the court. Further, therapists should never form clinical opinions or write declarations about parties they haven't interviewed.

Likewise, attorneys need to also challenge their clients' mental and not accept their declarations at face value. More time should be spent educating them to focus on negotiating solutions, rather than escalating blame. The court should make greater use of sanctions under house Code Section 271 for parties and attorneys who refuse to negotiate and unnecessarily escalate the conflict and costs of litigation.

The court must perceive that the parties are often not equally at fault. One or both parties may have a personality disorder, but that does not necessarily mean both are offenders (violent, manipulative, or lying). A non-offending, dependent spouse may truly need the court's assistance in dealing with the offender. The court should not be neutralized by mutual allegations without looking deeper. Otherwise, because of their personality style, the most offending party is often able to continue their offender behavior -- whether by matching the other's true allegations for a neutral outcome, or by being the most skilled at briefly looking good and thereby receiving the court's endorsement.

The court is in a unique position to motivate needed turn in personal behavior. In extremely contested cases, counseling or consequences should be ordered. Professionals and parties must work together to fully diagnose and treat each person's basal problems, rather than allowing the parties (and their advocates) to become absorbed in an endless adversarial process. Because their largest issues are internal, they will never be resolved in court.

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