The psychology of Online Dating: The Psychologist's Viewpoint

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Psychologists interested in dating and attraction have learned a great deal by reading and examining the personal advertisements and 'lonely hearts' pages of local and national newspapers. Since we psychologists have benefited from the habitancy who use these services it seems only right that some of the things we've found should be given back. In this series of articles I will figure some of the more almost beneficial findings that have come from this explore and furnish a overview of the results reported in scholastic science of mind journals, written for those who probably have the most interest in this knowledge: the daters themselves.

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There is quite a bit of material to cover so I have organised it into a series of six articles:

The Psychologist's Viewpoint

This description gives an idea of the scope of explore using personal advertisements, the way personal profiles are used in research, and the kind of things psychologists can find out when they put their minds to it.

He wants and she is

This outlines explore into the things that men say they are looking for in a partner. Alongside this we look at how women report themselves. Combining these we can assess how accurately women understand what men want and use the right kind of language to attract a man's interest. This one is particularly beneficial for the girls and should help you write something for the 'in your own words' bit of your profile.

She wants and he is

This description gives the opposite perspective to the old one, looking at the things that women say they want in a partner and the way that men report themselves. Do these match up? Have men got it right or are they missing the point completely? This one might help the boys rethink the content of their 'own words' parts of their dating profiles.

Like for Like or Opposites Attract?

This description summarises the results in the old two and uses these to figure the current psychological theories of attraction. It explains how 'like attracts like' and 'opposites attract' can both be true and how this can help you when you are first making caress with man after reading their profile.

Blitzers, Boasters and Being Choosy

This description looks at explore into general approaches to dating along with the results found by researchers who experimentally placed distinct versions of personal advertisements and then sat back to see how many and what kind of responses they got.

Summary and Practical Uses

The final description of this series summarises all that has gone before and places this new knowledge firmly in the context of online dating, describing how these results can be constructively used to make fewer mistakes and to enhance your chances of attracting responses to your profile and getting a inevitable response to your first arrival to someone.

Before getting into the results of the explore we need to take a brief tour colse to the ways in which explore psychologists use personal advertisements and the kinds of things they can find, so we have some idea of the sort of things that psychologists can and cannot say about personal advertisements and internet dating profiles.

Content Analysis

Personal advertisements have been a rich source of data for collective scientists investigating dating behaviours. To give an idea of the scale of this enterprise, my own explore in this area is based on the diagnosis of nearly five thousand advertisements collected from Uk local newspapers. Apart from this I have copies of more than sixty explore reports published by colleagues in Brazil, Canada, Hungary, Japan, Poland, Uk and Usa. This adds up to about thirty thousand individual profiles that have been analysed by psychologists, sociologists and other expert researchers. Most of this explore has used printed personal ads extracted from newspapers and magazines as these are more beneficial to us (as explained below) but the data and insights gained can be applied to any situation where first impressions come from written descriptions, so these results are directly relevant and beneficial to habitancy using internet dating sites.

Creating a profile for an internet dating site regularly involves describing yourself on a whole host of listed options such as eye colour (blue, green etc.), smoking habit, attractiveness, salary etc. This data is regularly entered into the site using a form. Within this form each man makes their own choices from the options ready but because it is a form, everyone has to mention the same kinds of things. In a sense, the dating site has already decided what the foremost features are and you plainly tick the accurate boxes when describing yourself and describing the sort of man you want to meet.

With printed personal advertisements there is no detailed form to fill in and you can write whatever you want. The only restriction is on the amount of words with an escalating fee per word up to a maximum limit. As a corollary these advertisements are quite short, averaging about 22 words. This is typically adequate space to mention about nine things, either these are your own attributes (age, hair and eye colour, looks) or things you are looking for in a partner (sense of humour, marital status, age range, personality, height). Given these restrictions we can reasonably expect that habitancy mention the most foremost things as they see it, so the content of these advertisements tell us what characteristics the writers think are foremost to the other sex, and what key things they are looking for themselves. For example, a personal advertisement that says "Stunning, curvy and adventurous 22 year old blonde female is looking for a financially obtain older man, ideally with own hair and teeth, who will spoil her rotten." gives a pretty clear indication of what matters to this man and what she is offering in return.

Researchers have taken thousands of personal advertisements and analysed them to look for general patterns. From this, they have identified some very clear differences in the middle of the kinds of things that are foremost to men and women when looking for a partner. They have also looked at how well the self descriptions of each sex matches the features that the other sex says they want, giving an indication of how much each sex understands about what the other sex is looking for. Results from this kind of explore are discussed in the articles He wants and she is, and She wants and he is.

Apart from the specific attributes and features mentioned, there are also more general differences in how habitancy write these descriptions. For example women tend to give more detailed data about the sort of man they are looking for than men, while men are more focussed on describing themselves. looking at a profile from this perspective tells us quite a lot about the arrival habitancy take to dating, along with either they are looking for a few high quality matches or just want as many dates as they can possibly get. This explore is summarised in the description Blitzers, Boasters and Being Choosy.

Knowing how habitancy report themselves and the sort of thing they are looking for also allows us to look at broader questions such as either habitancy are looking for others who are similar to themselves or would prefer a partner who is distinct but, in some sense, complementary. This is discussed in the description Like for Like or Opposites Attract where we find that both are true once we understand a more basic and beneficial ideas of attraction.

Experimental Research

Apart from examining the advertisements that real habitancy have written in the hope of looking a partner, psychologists have occasionally come to be active researchers and have placed experimental personal advertisements to see how many and what type of response they get. For example, if two almost identical advertisements are placed and one receives twice as many responses as the other, this tells us that the dissimilarity in the middle of these ads (which may be as small as one word) has a big corollary on the chances of attracting a date.

Some psychologists have also used this type of explore to explore the sort of things that men and women write when responding to an advertisement. This has given researchers other way to classify the distinct approaches to dating and to identify groups such as the 'blitzers' who send responses to everyone in the hope that some of them will score a hit. Results from this experimental explore are presented in the description Blitzers, Boasters and Being Choosy.

This description has outlined the organisation and content of this series, has introduced the ways in which psychologists arrival dating research, and has indicated the sort of things they may be able to see from their viewpoint as researchers.

In the next description we move on to looking at some actual findings. He wants and she is looks at the features that women tend to emphasis when advertising themselves, the things that men are certainly looking for, and either or not womens' self descriptions suggest they are marketing themselves well and have an accurate understanding into what men want.

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